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lost dreams

name: Rai Hikari
starsign: Aquarius

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

This week has been the worst week I think that I've ever suffered through. Last week did come in second, though, when I told the guy I liked- well, that I liked him. That was Wednesday of last week, and he hasn't talk to me since except to say random things like we were doing before. It's what I don't see and what he doesn't tell me that makes it terrible news.

I hate myself, and those who've read the stuff I've always posted already know that. Fortunately, he likes me back- but why? I can't even find a reason to like myself, so how can he? He won't tell me how he feels because he likes me enough to want to be friends longer than the relationship would possibly last. We haven't been talking like friends lately- I haven't really spoken to him since Wednesday, and that wasn't very long. I want to have long conversations with him like I used to in summer school. I want him to be more than just my friend. I need someone to tell me that there's a reason to go to school tomorrow- to wake up and walk into the school.

Our friendship can't last much longer anyway. I may be going to a college program next year in a school five hours away, and I know that everyone that I'm friends with will find other people to talk to and forget all about me. Even him- especially if you like someone. To love someone you have to let them go... I just can't stop seeing his face dancing behind my eyelids... I wish he would ask me out. I would say yes, anytime and anywhere. I love him.

Rai Hikari lost her dreams at 3:29 PM

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