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lost dreams

name: Rai Hikari
starsign: Aquarius

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Monday, November 19, 2007

I must be the world's worst avoider... I went to school this morning with the intention of ignoring my crush, but the second I passed him I was given a note. A note! He wrote me a poem... and asked me out at the same time.

I really like him, but I don't like myself eough. I almost passed out this morning because I was hyperventailating over this- I even saw the black spots in front of my vision when I stood up in class. I can't believe that someone like him could like someone like me- I don't deserve him. I love him. Love? That's a deep word, but it's how I feel...

At musical this weekend, Beauty and the Beast of course, the girls all decided that there's no truth behind love at first sight. You don't see someone and love them- that's infatuation. You can only love a person when you know their quirks, thoughts, and hates... When you can think about them and know them for more than appearance, then you have love. I have talked to him, and so I really do know him. I love him? I love him.

It's high school, and I'm leaving next year, so I have too high of expectations for this relationship- don't I? I really hope that this'll work, and we have so much in common... If he'd stop avoiding me like the plague, then I'd be happy... I'm trying to like myself this week so I can see why he likes me. I'm going to work really hard to be the best me that I can be, and I'm going to try hard to be what he deserves... He doesn't deserve me, but I'm going to work hard enough to get close.

Rai Hikari lost her dreams at 6:37 PM

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